Cascade

The last several weeks have been turbulent for me. Things started in late February when a semi changed lanes and bashed into the side of my wife's car. Thankfully, she wasn't seriously injured in the incident, but the car had been totaled.

I recently received news that my liver is not doing well. I am having issues with some of my enzymes being out of range. I've had tests and scans that show it is not hepatitis, but I have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. I have no choice but to improve my diet and lose some weight.

During this time, my stepfather had been admitted to and discharged from the hospital several times. He was having trouble breathing and his O2 stats were dropping into the lower 80s.

The same afternoon I got the news about my liver, my mom called me and informed me that the doctors had told her and my pops that there was nothing else they could do for him. Doctors recommended getting in touch with hospice to set up palliative care.

Mom had been telling us for a while that his health was declining quickly. It was still quite a shock to hear that he wasn't being given much longer. Pops was discharged from the hospital in Louisville and was in a rehabilitation facility. I drove up to visit him on a Sunday. He was gaunt and had no strength.

He had once assisted me in changing the front wheel bearings on my truck. The nut was stuck tight and the hub, and I couldn't budge it. Pops came out to the rescue. While he was trying to loosen the nut, he almost lifted the front tire off the ground. Now, Pops could scarcely sit up in bed to take his medicine. Just sitting up had him shaking with exhaustion and gasping for air.

It was heart-breaking to see how quickly his health had deteriorated. I looked at the chart at the end of his bed, and it said he weighed 145 pounds. He looked emaciated. He could come home a few days later. That Thursday evening or Friday morning he passed away in his bed.

It has been a surreal few weeks since then. His funeral was fantastic. Numerous people came to express their love for this wonderful human who had passed. He got the coolest ride from the funeral home to his ultimate resting place I've ever seen.

His absence has left a large hole in my life that cannot be filled. I'm sure with time the pain of that void will diminish. I doubt it will ever disappear. This is the main reason I haven’t been streaming. I haven’t felt like trying to be entertaining.

I had to go with Mom to have a medical procedure done while Pops was at the rehabilitation facility. They ran a small ultrasound probe down her throat to take some images of her heart. They had tried this procedure once before, but they had to abort when she started having a negative reaction to one medication they administered prior to the procedure. This time they used a general anesthetic instead of just trying to numb the specific area.

They brought me into the room when Mom recovered from the anesthesia. The doctor didn’t need to wait for a radiologist to read the results. She showed me on the monitor, and it was plain to this layperson that one of her heart valves was leaking.

The valves in your heart are small flaps that swing open in one direction. When they are not open, they should be sealed. Imagine a door that only allows people to walk in one direction. This is how your valves should operate. Mom's valve was allowing a large percentage of the "people" that walked through her door to walk out the same way they came in.

This fault left her short of breath. Two methods can be employed to repair this defect. They can run a repair device up the vein and attach it to the faulty valve so that it stops the door from swinging open backwards. They can also perform open-heart surgery to replace the valve with a new one.

The repair is much less invasive and has a shorter recovery time. Before deciding which approach to take, they have to administer another test. Then she needs to meet the surgeon. They will decide based on several factors which course will be the most effective for Mom's long-term health.

After we had gone for Mom's first ultrasound, I was at home playing a new game with my family. Each turn you start by spinning a dial which will land on one of four categories. You draw a card at random from the chosen category. Three categories involve answering questions. The remaining option requires each player to perform a physical challenge.

These physical challenges included a large variety of activities. You could make a funny face, do your best celebrity impression, or perform a physical stunt. My eagerness to claim points got the best of me in these physical challenges.

The challenge was to see who could perform the best fake fall. Both our children went first, and their pratfalls were admirable. I had my work cut out for me if I wanted to win. I launched myself off the couch and "pretended" to go down. Too quickly.

I lost my balance, and Pliny the Elder got nervous and tried to dodge me. Her dodge, however, put her in my exact path. I knew if I landed on her, it would injure her significantly. I made my best effort to vault over her, but I was off balance. I landed just past her, on the left side of my face.

The carpet made for some immaculate burning. My neck made an interesting crunching sound when I landed. My glasses bent and flew off my face. I lay still on the ground, attempting to assess my injuries. I could wiggle my toes and fingers—good. My forehead and upper lip were throbbing—not good. The pain was slowly intensifying.

As I'm trying to determine how badly injured I am, my family proclaims my dominance. The kids are applauding the realism of my acting. My wife is demanding that I get up and stop playing around. Pliny the Younger comes over and starts tapping my leg with her foot and telling me to get up.

I have now realized that my lip is swelling and my forehead has some trauma, but otherwise I seem to be okay. I slowly roll over to look at my family. Pliny the Younger is the first to behold me. She says, "He is hurt bad. Mom, Mom, Mom, he's bleeding; Mom, he's bleeding."

Now everyone realizes that my acting isn't that good. I didn't pretend to fall. I was not bleeding; however, I had a healthy dose of carpet burn and a fat lip.

I looked like this for the next several days:

I went to help make arrangements for Pops funeral with this mark. This was my appearance at the wake. I wore a hat to cover things for the funeral itself. Saying goodbye has been difficult for me. I hope I will be remembered as fondly when my time comes.

This weekend will be my five year anniversary with my wife. The traditional gift associated with your five year anniversary is wood. We have a small trip planned to celebrate. Nothing extravagant, just a weekend getaway with a nice meal. Having this woman by my side has made all these trials more bearable. I could never stress how grateful I am to have her in my life.

Finding joy in these proclamations of growth and advancement takes the sting out of the loss and pain. We have made it through five years with more than a few tough challenges. I am sure that we will make it through many more years to come with equal grace.

Even though things may be hard now, they won't be hard forever. I'm lucky to have found an amazing partner to be by my side and lessen my struggles. I just wanted to share what has been going on and why I took a short break from streaming.

You are amazing. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You may be flawed, but you are perfect exactly the way you are because you are you and that is all anyone needs to be. I hope your tomorrow is better than today.