How does one remain optimistic without being crushed? I want to be that person who always looks at the bright side of life. It just feels like whenever I start to think things are going to work out and be great is when I get hurt the worst. Where do people find that balance of being optimistic without allowing themselves to be let down?
Maybe those people just accept that with their hope comes the increased likelihood of pain. If that is the case, I don’t see how you can keep that attitude for an extended period of time. Potentially there is some method for tempering hope that I just haven’t learned how to apply yet. Like how some people can drink one drink and stop while others can’t put it down once they’re going.
I must be one of the people that just keep going. Once I allow myself to have that hope that things will be good, I start to escalate to thoughts of all the other good things that will come as a result. Then, when that first domino never falls, instead of just losing that one domino, I have been denied all the subsequent bonuses that would have followed in my mind. So that one failure becomes amplified to the loss of dozens of things.
As a result, I have conditioned myself to not expect things will work out in my favor. Then, if they do, I will be pleasantly surprised instead of devastated by the loss of all the things I had dreamed of.
This attitude towards life often leads people to think I am angry or depressed, with an extremely negative outlook. I don’t really see myself that way. My inner thoughts are that I would love for things to work out, but I can’t let myself think they will, lest I be destroyed by my own lofty dreams.
I hope at least some of this makes sense to someone. I want to be hopeful, but I’m afraid that being hopeful will lead to pain.
Are you one of those positive people? If so, how do you deal with your emotions when things don’t work out for the best like you believed they would?
Thanks to @kissyree.bsky.social I have decided to remove my Instagram account. You can still find all of the same content on my PixelFed page here: pixelfed.social/@cl4ywell Please feel free to follow me there!
Shoshin is a concept from Zen Buddhism that means “beginner’s mind”. It refers to keeping yourself flexible and approaching learning with an open, eager mind and trying to eliminate your preconceptions. I think it is better described by a practitioner of Buddhism.
In the mind of the student there are many possibilities; in the mind of the master there are few.
—Shunryu Suzuki
I feel that putting this concept into practice could benefit from today.
Last stream we chose chaos! Wound up giving away 8 games and you lot broke me with all the love and support <3 Today we’re heading back for more #Snowrunner. Look forward to seeing you there. twitch.tv/cl4ywell
Holy smokes last night was phenomenal! I was and am overwhelmed by the generosity and support from the community! You all broke me and talking became very difficult. All I can say is thank you so much! #Twitch #BrokenStreamer #ThankYou tinyurl.com/4x2uxf6r
Sorry everyone. I had a super long and stressful day at work today. I have a pounding headache and I’m exhausted. No stream tonight, but AGDQ is live so go give them a chance. twitch.tv/GamesDone… #TiredStreamer #Headache #AGDQ2025
So many questions. How did they get the butter to eat grass? Do I want to eat butter that can now consume things? Is feeding grass to butter supposed to be a good thing? Is that how herbal butter gets made? Will the butter decide to try flesh next? Should I fear the butter?
Ya’ll, I am a gosh-durned, no-brained, long eared, dim-witted, eejit! I forgot that I am on call this weekend at work and as such I cannot stream as I have tickets. I apologize. Catch ya’ll Tuesday.
Going #LiveOnTwitch at 9 eastern with some more #Snowrunner tonight. Still working in Austria with more fun and more farming to be done! Come hang out and vibe with the #Lo-FiTruckGuy. twitch.tv/cl4ywell
This is the word that will define 2024 for me.
2024 has been one wild ride for this lowly husband-dad-streamer-podcaster-photographer. There were many highs and lows these last 12 months. In fact, one of the worst lows in my life happened not that long ago.
I had been working for a company called Redbox for the last 16 years as a Lead Field Service Technician (LFST). My title changed a few times over the years, but my duties remained relatively the same.
Radiolab illustrated to me that I don’t have an optimistic outlook on things. Misery loves company—They said when you are suffering, being around others makes you feel better. I always took this to mean that if you were miserable, you would lash out to make other people suffer alongside you.
A very merry Christmas and happy holidays to all out there! I hope everyone has time to reconnect with your families, eat lots of good food, and find some time to enjoy peace and quiet. The best to all. I hope the next 12 months bless us in more ways than we could hope.
Had some great fun today and tonight. Watched It’s a Wonderful Life for the first time ever and I got to play some games with friends because my wife loves me and knows that inside I’m really only 10. Thanks for carrying me today without complaining bobbuslee and @ottomattomakin.bsky.social.
This week has been crazy and wild. I’m finally getting a chance to sit down and catch my breath for a bit. I think I’ve been pushing myself very hard, just trying to keep distracted from what I fear may be coming. Hopefully, I’m wrong about potential outcomes and everything runs along great! But keeping myself busy has made for positive results. I have a new website, and I’m a tiny bit proud of it. All was done in a text editor by me. I know it is very basic and a bit janky, but that is just my style.
Also recently got my Twitch 2024 Recap. 278 new followers, 4.35K hours watched, and 50K chat messages sent in my channel! <3 You all have made this year truly amazing! I am so lucky to have been blessed with your presence whether it be 5 minutes or 12 months! Thank YOU!! #TwitchRecap2024
