Saturday, January 18, 2025

How does one remain optimistic without being crushed? I want to be that person who always looks at the bright side of life. It just feels like whenever I start to think things are going to work out and be great is when I get hurt the worst. Where do people find that balance of being optimistic without allowing themselves to be let down?

Maybe those people just accept that with their hope comes the increased likelihood of pain. If that is the case, I don’t see how you can keep that attitude for an extended period of time. Potentially there is some method for tempering hope that I just haven’t learned how to apply yet. Like how some people can drink one drink and stop while others can’t put it down once they’re going.

I must be one of the people that just keep going. Once I allow myself to have that hope that things will be good, I start to escalate to thoughts of all the other good things that will come as a result. Then, when that first domino never falls, instead of just losing that one domino, I have been denied all the subsequent bonuses that would have followed in my mind. So that one failure becomes amplified to the loss of dozens of things.

As a result, I have conditioned myself to not expect things will work out in my favor. Then, if they do, I will be pleasantly surprised instead of devastated by the loss of all the things I had dreamed of.

This attitude towards life often leads people to think I am angry or depressed, with an extremely negative outlook. I don’t really see myself that way. My inner thoughts are that I would love for things to work out, but I can’t let myself think they will, lest I be destroyed by my own lofty dreams.

I hope at least some of this makes sense to someone. I want to be hopeful, but I’m afraid that being hopeful will lead to pain.

Are you one of those positive people? If so, how do you deal with your emotions when things don’t work out for the best like you believed they would?