Child's Fear

Allow me to start this week with an apology. I am making my best effort to release a new post every Monday. What I am trying to work through in this post led me into prolonged rants that were tangential at best. I am still learning to write, and this has been hard for me to curb. When one of my kids is upset, I become emotional and want to protect them. That is the basis for my ranting and anger that may still seep through this text.

Pliny the Younger has been having nightmares. It started several weeks ago. She would tell us she hadn't slept well and that she was having bad dreams. My wife tried to talk to her, but Pliny was hesitant to really get into the subject.

It took my wife a fair bit of time to coax out the details and pin down the source of her distress. Pliny had overheard a speech from the current President of the United States that my wife was listening to on her phone. Pliny heard him saying that we were under "imminent threat" from Iran. That they were on the verge of attacking us and killing everyone.

Pliny the Younger is 11. She heard this news coming from the president and took it to be true. Our daughter doesn't understand that we have a president in office who just says whatever is on his mind, regardless of facts or the consequences of his words.

She was terrified that people were on the way to our home to murder our entire family. It frightened her so badly that she was having nightmares about it.

As parents, how do we deal with a situation like this? Should we tell our daughter that you can't believe anything that the president says? Do we tell her she shouldn't worry because as of right now, there is no one coming to kill us? What would strengthen our words over the president's? How can you explain to a child that the current administration's entire governing policy is to spread fear and hatred?

We have done our best to convince her we are safe. She still sees the news and has access to the internet. Pliny knows we are engaged in active military operations against Iran. Call it what you will, but she knows we are at war, and it scares her.

It breaks my heart that my daughter is frightened, and I don't feel I have any means to comfort her. I feel that even though we have tried to explain that we are at war; we are safe in our home. It infuriates me that political leaders globally seem to be increasingly populist, xenophobic, and tyrannical.

Teaching citizens of your country to fear any "other" and blaming those people for all ills in your society is an extremely old playbook that remains viable to this day for some confounding reason. A certain German leader in the mid-1930s to mid-1940s used these same tactics against the Jewish people. A certain Russian leader in office today also used this same governing philosophy against the Chechen people when he felt it necessary to solidify his power. Our president is now carrying out actions very similar to those of Latin American descent.

These are not the policies a country that wants to be seen as free should employ. This country was founded on the ideals that ALL people are created equal. We should seek to embrace other countries. We were conceived as a melting pot for all people.

I want my daughters to grow up in a country where they are equals. I want them to have autonomy over their own bodies. I want them to feel safe to love whomever they love. I want them to be accepted and loved for who they are, regardless of anything else. I feel like those opportunities are slipping away from them if we continue down this path.

If you have any advice for a newer dad to deal with his daughters, I'd be grateful for it. I want my children to grow up with hope, but I feel mine slowly fading. Thank you for your time.