Lies

I listened to a podcast recently that discussed lies and why people lie. It started me thinking about the subject in more detail. What exactly is a lie? Is it ever ok to lie? Why do people tell lies in the first place? Are there different types of lies?

I must admit that this topic appears to be far too familiar in today’s world. It makes me sad and exhausted to feel like I must question any information I’m given. There is a never-ending stream of statements that must be fact-checked. This is one way that former Soviet operatives hoped to destroy their enemies. Bombard your opposition with so much false information that no one knows what to believe anymore, and they just give up even trying to find the truth.

What is a lie?

By definition, it is to make an untrue statement with the intent to deceive or to create a false or misleading impression. I don’t think it is as simple as it appears. After all, we have what most people refer to as “white lies”. These are meant to protect or appease others.

On this podcast, there was a neurodivergent person who said for the longest time in their life they could not understand why people would say that she was not fat. She said that she owned a mirror and could see demonstrably that her body was larger than average. It confused her as to why people would just deny reality.

I often feel this same way when I am speaking with people. I will make a statement that to me is just true. There is no ill intent about it or hostility behind it. People will seem to be shocked or confused as to why I would say something so negative about myself. I don’t see the need to sugar-coat reality. I am overweight. I don’t sing well; as anyone who attended my 2-year anniversary stream can attest. There are many other examples. It confounds me when people argue these statements with me. I own a scale and mirrors. I have heard recordings of myself singing.

Is it ok to lie?

You may feel that white lies are not only acceptable, but desirable. That is a perfectly valid opinion. I mean, who wants to be the person that hurts others’ feelings? At the same time, it can be confounding to some people, who just see your good intentions as an inability to see facts.

If it is acceptable to tell these lies that protect others, then where do we draw the line?

I maintain that it is nearly always better to tell the truth. That doesn’t mean you have to be rude or unkind. It angers me when people say something hurtful and follow it up with, “I’m just being honest.” No, you aren’t just being honest, you are being mean. You can say most things in a gentle way and remain truthful. Being honest does not have to imply rudeness.

The Bald-Faced Lie

The podcast I listened to also referred to this type of lie as the “Bully Lie”. I like this term. It gives a much more clear picture of the type of people that tell this lie.

The bully lie is the type of lie that someone would steal the hat from your head and place it upon their head, and then tell you that they didn’t steal your hat. It is a type of lie that attempts to exert power over others. You know undoubtedly that their statement is untrue, as do they. The point of the lie is not to deceive, but rather to say that I have the power to simply deny reality and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

There are certain individuals in recent times that will make statements about things like the enormous crowds at their events when there is video proof that the crowds were moderate at best. They have also made statements that the rain stopped, and the sun came out when they started speaking, when you can watch videos of the rain continuing to come down for the duration of their speech.

The Truth is Out There

As a person alive today who values the truth, the state of our information systems today gravely worries me. Oligarchs purchase or run our major social networks and have banned or suppressed speech of those who dare stand up for truth and call out the lies. The worst part is these oligarchs silence the dissent in the name of free speech.

State adversaries are using AI to pump disinformation and misinformation to hundreds of small websites. Chatbots from all our major AI companies are in turn devouring this data and then spitting it back out as fact when users ask questions about these topics.

In a world where it is nearly impossible to determine fact from lie, how does one know who or what to believe? How can people reach a point of mutual understanding when they are separated by oceans of differing “facts”? How do we get to a point of acceptance of others when the world seems so hyper-partisan and tribalistic?

I only hope that one day soon we can wake up as a species and realize we aren’t enemies. We all need each other to survive. There is no us versus them on our little blue marble. I look forward to seeing you there.